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When life hurts,
And all you want to do is shake the people you care about, the people you love, and make them them understand that your vision of the future is better with them.
It’s best to take a step back.
Breath, Luis.
Life has a way of teaching you things without making it obvious. Forcing you to look back, see how far you have come, and how much better off you are today than you were then.
It sucks that we can’t see this while winding down the path full speed ahead, but it’s for the best. If we were so caught up in what we were learning at the time, we wouldn’t have time to actually learn anything.
Dave. I love you. Always will. But our time has come to part ways. It hurts, it hurts so bad to say this. To do this. I feel like it goes against every bone in my body, every thought in my head, every feeling in my heart. But I can’t look at you without wanting you. I can’t think about you without needing you. I don’t want part of you, I want all you. Call me selfish, but I want my cake and to eat it too. And if I can’t, if you won’t, then I need to move on. I wanted to be friends, I’m pretty sure it obvious that we fucked that up. I though we could just pretend that we never happened, for you that might not be much of a stretch, for me, it would be turning my back on all that I have done, on everything I have learned, on all the growth I have accomplished, since the day we met. I’m not willing to do that. I cherish those memories, I cherish those times. I want to hold on to them until the day I’m gone.
You were my best friend. You were the smile on my face the moment before I woke. The flutter of my heart as I lay down to sleep. You made me so happy. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do that for you. And I’m so sorry that I refused to listen to you when you said so much. I should have walked away when you said it wasn’t working, but I was blind. I was head over heels, I was in love.
Dave, I wish you the best in life. I want nothing more than for you to be happy. To find that spark, that passion, that I could not give you.
Thank you Dave, for making me look into the mirror. Seeing my own faults, and unknowingly (I think at least) making me a better person.
Maybe some day in the future we can be friends. Real honest-to-god friends. I’m not so optimistic on that, but hey what do I know.
I love you Dave.